Walk of Shame. In a state park.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
