I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
