I am midnight drunk by noon
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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