I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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