Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
third nipple confirmed
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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