I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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