Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
