He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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