We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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