Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
