So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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