pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
