my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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