ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He? As in you personified your dick?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize