Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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