Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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