So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
