she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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