she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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