whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
