She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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