did you get engaged???
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
