Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
