ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
