i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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