Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
