remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
