Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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