You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize