i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
