Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
