Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When did angry sex become our thing?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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