For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
