The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
