The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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