so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
