my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You made out with two different species that night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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