I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
