I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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