I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
