The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
