Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
