Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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