Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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