Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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