i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i think i just lost a toe
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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