is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
