I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
