Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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