U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
