so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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