i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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