I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
