He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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