dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
