Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think my mom watched the whole time
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
