Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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