Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
