TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize