Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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