I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I know her cup size but not her name....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
