My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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