what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
where does the pee come out of this thing
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
