i would punch a child for taco bell
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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