Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
