So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
