So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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