i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize