So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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