If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
