bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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