My cat gives me a boner
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
