Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize