I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
