Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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