Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
