Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
