Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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