Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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