your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
