508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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