You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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