If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Please don't give away my fajitas
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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