ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
