I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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