Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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